Who Shouldn’t Get An Invite To Your Wedding?
Any kind of wedding planning is stressful but deciding on a guest list can be a pretty huge stumbling block as you’ll generally feel like you have to invite everyone even though there are some people who you really don’t want to be part of your big day. This isn’t a problem that you’re facing on your own, in fact it’s one that’s faced by almost every couple in the run up to their wedding day.
Why shouldn’t you invite everyone?
Although it can be hard to make a decision on who makes the wedding list and who doesn’t it’s essential to cut it down to size and there are a number of good reasons why.
- Budget: Every person on your guest list costs money from your budget as you have to assign them a meal, a piece of cake and wedding favours. If you’ve got a budget to stick to them limiting the guest list is one of the easiest ways to stick to it without sacrificing the quality of the day.
- Intimacy and friendliness: If you invite a lot of people to your wedding then you’ve got a lot of people to meet, greet and mingle with which means you won’t be able to spend a lot of time with any of your guests. Continually moving around your guests in order to make sure you’ve spoken to everyone can be a tiring experience and it means that you can’t engage in the heartfelt conversations that you might like to if there were fewer people attending.
- Awkwardness: Everyone on your guest list needs to be thought about because if someone you consider to be a close friend or relative is likely to cause problems for others then you should reconsider their invite.
Who not to invite
The people who automatically make it onto the guest list will differ for every couple; however, there are a few groups of people that you should avoid adding to the guests list at all costs.
Although you and your partner might be perfectly comfortable having each other’s ex-partners in attendance at the wedding it might not be so easy for friends and family members to meet them again. These significant others are likely to have been an important part of your life at some point but the likelihood is that none of your friends or family will have had any contact with them since your split which could make the reception dinner very awkward.
Estranged relatives are generally estranged for a reason and by inviting them to your wedding you’re asking for what should be the happiest day of your life to be turned into a day that will be remembered for uncomfortable silences and restarting of family feuds.
Just as inviting estranged relatives can create an inharmonious atmosphere, inviting the relatives that you very rarely speak to can have the same effect creating awkward silences making many guests feel like they have to spend time talking to them. A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that just because you’re related you have to invite the relatives that you don’t see form one year to the next when the truth is you’re not necessarily bothered about having them there and they wouldn’t be bothered about being left off the guest list. Omitting these relatives from the guest list will not only save the atmosphere at the reception but it’ll also keep your wedding budget-friendly.
When thinking about whether or not you should invite your neighbours to your wedding you need to ask yourself whether you consider them to be friends or just someone that you chat politely to about the neighbourhood. If you spend a lot of time with them away from your front door then you might want to consider inviting them but if you never see them, other than in passing then there’s really no need to send them an invite as they’re unlikely to be offended.
A lot of people feel that they should invite their distant friends to their wedding because the likelihood is they were really close friends at some point in your life and even though you’ve been separated by geography or the formation of other relationships the idea of not having them there doesn’t rest comfortably with you. You should bear in mind though that if it’s physical distance that’s separating you then they’re much less likely to be able to attend any way due to travel expenses and if you’ve drifted apart over the years then that’s happened for a reason and your wedding is a day to celebrate your current relationships as opposed to renewing friendships from years ago.
Unfortunately, sometimes, you’ll have a friend or relative that you’d love to invite but who you know will cause trouble because of their behaviour or attitude. Everyone has a friend who can’t go to a party without getting so drunk they can’t walk at the end of the night and another friend who become loud and obnoxious after having a drink, attempting to pick a fight with anyone else in the room. If you can, you should definitely exclude these people from the guest list but if you have to invite them then make sure you enlist help from other people in order to monitor their behaviour in order to avoid any unwanted incidents.
It’s never easy to create the perfect guest list but if you know exactly who to avoid inviting then it makes it a whole lot easier to work out the people that you should invite.
The Card Gallery is one of the UK’s leading wedding stationery suppliers and since their establishment they’ve supplied everything from invitations to place cards to thousands of happy couples.
Matthew Oliver xx